Breaking Fangirl's Curse
by MsLanna
Summary: Lanna finally has enough of Boba Fett tagging along, so off they go trying to find somebody able to undo the potion. But where to find a wizard?Currently on hiatus. I'm sorry, but I need to find some plot.
1. Chapter 1

** Chapter 1 **

Of course, she hadn't gotten the job. Lanna sighed sadly. Nobody wanted to employ a sales woman if the deal included Boba Fett tagging along. She could understand the shop owners -- but still. She wanted a job, which meant that something had to be done about Boba Fett. Something _had_ to be done.

Lanna stopped in mid-stride, turned, and bumped nose first into Fett's breast plate. Automatically, she raised her left hand to hold her injured nose, but only managed to bruise it on his tool belt. 

"You!" she snapped at him. "Come with me!" 

She stalked back to her speeder, claimed the driver's seat, and waited impatiently for Fett to get seated next to her. As soon as he could no longer fall out, Lana kicked the engines to full speed. 

Something had to be done.

Now. 

-----------------------------------------------

At her flat Lanna began pacing her living room, wondering what to do next. Fett, who had only taken the time to remove his helmet, followed her around valiantly, trying to dress the wound on her hand at the same time. But unlike her, Boba did not bounce into Lanna when she suddenly stopped.

"There must be a way to undo this spell," Lanna declared. "There simply has to be. And we are going to find it." She glanced at Fett, who still held gauze bandages and scissors in his hands. "Do I have to put a bounty on it, or will you help me anyway?"

The bounty hunter only looked at her without moving a muscle.

"OK," Lanna conceded. "What about this: If you still want to marry me after the spell is broken, I will."

"Does that mean we're engaged?" Fett asked, completely ignoring the what-ifs. 

"Don't go running off buying a ring, yet," Lanna told him. "There'll be enough time when we get back. Weddings don't organize themselves, you know."

For a short while Fett stood still, regarding her intently. "I will help you," he said finally.

With a delighted squeal Lanna jumped to hug him, banging her newly bandaged hand against the green armour. "Ouch!" Her joy turned into frantic hopping around and shaking her hand vigorously.

Fett watched her for a second, shaking his head slightly. "I'll call Mr. Lorret." 

By the time Lanna had caught herself again and behaved about as close to normal as she ever got, a very old and wrinkled version of the man she remembered had appeared on the screen.

"Yes?" he asked, blinking his eyes repeatedly.

"Mr. Lorret," Lanna greeted him. "I'm glad we caught you at home." 

"Huh?" the wizened man said. "Do I know you?" 

"You might not remember_ me_," Lanna replied, "but don't tell me you have forgotten about _him_, too." Behind her, Fett entered the comm's range on cue.

Lorret paled visibly and swallowed hard. "What do you want after all these years? Sue me?" His voice was a mixture of fear and spite. 

"Nothing that serious," Lanna assured him. "All we want is the name and address of the person you got the potion from. I think we have some issues with him."

"Um." Lorret hesitated. "And if I refuse to give them to you?" he asked tentatively.

"In that case," Boba answered before Lanna could, "we might have some issues with you." 

Mr. Lorret seemed to digest that slowly, probably weighing the value of his life against that of his honour, and came to a predictable conclusion.

"All right, I will give you the information, but you will have to come to me. I cannot disclosed this over an open channel."

"That should be no problem," Lanna replied, feeling jubilant. "Give us your address and a time -- soon, if possible -- and we'll be there."

Mr. Lorret did not look too happy as he sent his data. "I'll see you in two days, then." He bowed out, and broke the connection before either Lanna or Fett could say anything. They looked at each other for a moment, then Lanna shrugged.

"Better get packing, Boba," she said, a grin spreading over her face. 

----------------------------------

Two days later, Lanna and Boba met the old lawyer in a small club in the most out-of-the-way retirement area on Moark anyone could think of. Lanna wondered if he was mainly hiding from them, mostly or from others as well. Mr. Lorret was hiding behind a huge flimsy-news when they entered. They only realized he was there when he approached them, glancing around furtively, and dragging them into a small niche, still holding up the flimsy protectively. Lanna came to the conclusion that there were probably more dissatisfied customers of his around.

"I will not ask how you got my number," he said, glancing at Fett. "I had hoped to spend the rest of my day untroubled in this resort, you know."

Lanna cocked her head slightly. "We will not tell anybody," she promised him, at the same time promising herself to ask Fett a few pointed questions later on. "We only want to know where we can find the man who gave you the potion. Then we'll be gone like the wind." 

Mr. Lorret did not look convinced. "Very well. He called himself 'Magic Mortimer' and had advertisements out all over Coruscant. His fame spread through hearsay; many of his potions had the most astonishing results. Rumour has it that he even made a queen fall in love with some stupid Jedi once -- but it ended in disaster." He shook his head sadly.

Apparently seeing the peeved look on Lanna's face he hurriedly went on. "But I'm boring you, I'm sorry. Anyway, he was the best, so we got the potion from him." 

"And where is he now?" Fett interrupted impatiently.

"Well, at the end he got - strange. He looked pretty ropy the last time I saw him, kept babbling about going home but missing some kind of key." Mr. Lorret shrugged. "It was all rather unclear, for, as far as I know, you don't need a key to get to Alzoc. But he kept raving about it. A portable key, or prod key, pod key -- as I said, it didn't make much sense." 

"Portkey," Lanna said suddenly. "He was looking for a portkey on Alzoc. What about his current address?" 

"Um," Lorret said. "This is all I have. It's some years old already, but it's really all I ever knew about Magic Mortimer." He gave Lanna a data card. "I swear." 

Lanna took the card and gave it to Fett without looking at it. "We believe you," she assured the lawyer, "for now. If any inconsistencies come up, you can prepare for another visit from us." She gave Mr. Lorret a hard stare that was probably emphasised by Boba's impenetrable gaze.

"Good bye, Mr. Lorret, and hopefully farewell, too." Lanna turned and left with Boba in tow.

In the landspeeder she finally turned to Fett. "So how _did_ you get his number?" she asked. 

"I have my sources," Fett replied. "And I never let a target out of sight if there is the possibility that I need to contact them again." He didn't even take his eyes off the street. "And how do you know what a portkey is?"

"I have my resources," Lanna replied looking smug. "Let's see what's on the data card. Though I think it is safe to head for Alzoc already."

Fett nodded. 

--------------------------------------------------------- 

It turned out that there was not much useful information about Magic Mortimer at all on the data card. There were a lot of advertisements for magical merchandise, dates for fairs at which Magic Mortimer would have a stall, some holo news concerning him, and a suspicious folder containing data one would only gather if one thought about suing or taking over a business. Lanna believed Mr. Lorret capable of both.

"Not much help, is it?" she said leaning back. The most interesting bits for her had been a tangled and complicated log following Mortimer's merchandise back to Alzoc, even though it was registered as an empty planet. Unfortunately, the log stopped there each time. It seemed as if Magic Mortimer had just plucked his potions off the trees on the planet. 

"Not even a picture," Fett agreed. He had changed into a grey jumpsuit again as soon as they had taken off. "But the trail clearly goes to Alzoc. So we have a place to start." 

On a typed command, the map of Alzoc appeared on the screen of the _Slave I_. "Following the pattern of landings that were observed, this is the most likely area to find something," the bounty hunter explained.

A big green patch suddenly covered half of a continent. Lanna leaned forward again to scrutinize it.

"It's a pretty big area, isn't it?" she asked with her eyes intent on the map.

"Compared to a precise spot to look for something, yes," Fett agreed. "Compared to the whole planet, no, it's not."

Lanna sighed and turned to look at Boba. "So it's just my good luck that I have a seasoned bounty hunter at my side whose experiences of the last few years will be so extremely helpful." The she spun her chair back to face the screen and placed her face in her hands. "Oh, bugger," she murmured.

Taking full advantage of the situation, Boba put his arm around Lanna's shoulders and squeezed her gently. "The sensors of the _Slave I _are top of the line," he soothed her softly. "If there is anything out of the ordinary, be it only a lump of molecules, we will find it." 

Lanna relaxed in his arm and leaned against him. "Oh, bugger," she mumbled again. 

---------------------------------------------------------- 

Alzoc was not much more than a lump with an atmosphere circling a small sun out in the nowhere of the Outer Rim. Research in the files aboard the _Slave I_ had brought up nothing except that once Gamorreans had tried to colonize it. How successful they had been was not documented, though.

_Hopefully not too successful,_ Lanna hoped. Having to ward off bunches of Gamorreans while they were looking for something that could be as small as a button was not exactly her idea of fun. They had set down the _Slave I_ a good bit away from the object in question, fearing that the repulsors might blow it away if they landed too close. Fett had taken his time to secure the vessel for an unspecified time, then taken unspecified time himself for getting into his Mandalorian armour. Lanna assembled her survival pack for unforeseen situations and awaited Boba anxiously at the hatch.

"Let's get this straight," Fett's filtered voice asked as he closed the hatch again and powered up the security systems. "A portkey is an object that will teleport you to a different place when you touch it."

Lanna nodded. "That's how it is supposed to work. I know it sounds silly but --"

"Not more than a love potion that actually works," Fett interrupted her. He started to walk down the meadow into the direction of the setting sun. Lanna followed, trusting that he had the position of the object somewhere in his systems.

After a while she caught up with his brisk strides. She couldn't see any signs of approaching Gamorreans, though it irritated her that she couldn't turn up the audio-enhancers because Fett wore them. The same with the infrared vision and environment stats. _It's amazing how fast one can get used to those gadgets,_ she mused as she followed Fett.

After a short walk they reached a small copse of trees. Since Fett simply approached the wood, Lanna assumed that no Gamorreans hid in it. Being dependent on Boba did make her a bit nervous. But the bounty hunter in question didn't seem to notice. He went to a tree that to Lanna looked exactly like all others, and stopped there. Then he bent down to lift something that seemed to be a small and very rusted tin. 

"Don't!" Lanna shouted, and grabbed his shoulder. 

"Why not?" Fett asked, standing up again and facing her. "If this really is a portkey…."

"If this really is the portkey --" Lanna interrupted him, taking his hand, interlocking their fingers tightly, and giving him a squeeze -- "if this really is a portkey, you can try it now."


	2. Chapter 2

** Chapter 2 **

Lanna watched Fett reaching out for the rusty tin, and with a sudden felt as if her body was compressed until her feet were directly under her chin. Then she was stretched and bent backwards until the whole galaxy ears encompassed between her back and legs, with her feet hooked behind her ears. Her feet snapped back under her chin again violently before she found herself back in her normal shape.

Blinking her eyes in the suddenly bright light, Lanna realized she was clutching Fett's hand to the point of breaking bones. Lowering the pressure, she said, "Seems as if it really was a portkey. Though I never heard of one that could make it to this place."

Lanna glanced around the place she had believed existed only in holonovels. They stood in the yard of an old castle, the main building towering up in front of them, towers placed at each corner of the walled yard. Lanna craned her neck to confirm that, letting her gaze sweep over the roman arches of the windows and the greyish tiles on the pointed roofs. _But then_, she thought, _magic is pretty hard to come by, not only on Morak, but anywhere in the galaxy._ Then she turned her attention back to Fett, wondering how a _school, _ could keep such an impeccable lawn. _Probably the reason Filch is always so grumpy, he never sees the end of lawn-repair-spells._

"This seems to be Hogwarts," she said. "A magical school full of wizards and wizard wannabes, if I remember correctly. And if we didn't apparate after it was closed."

"Hubwards?" Fett wondered. "I thought that was a direction?"

"Wrong holonovel," Lanna explained. "And believe me, we don't want to go _there_ if it can be helped. Apart from being more nuts than almonds the wizards there are also rather incompetent."

"Unlike here," Fett commented.

Lanna nodded. The yard was empty except for them and a few pupils in formal cloaks rushing about as if they were about to miss the fun of their lives. "All right," Lanna began. "Let's…"

She broke off and stared across the yard where an adult wizard came storming out of the castle. His long blond hair was gathered in his neck by a black velvet ribbon, and his cloak had passed the final exam of 'Billowing Dramatically for Experts' with an A+. The man's face was red with anger, and the way he glared did not speak of good mood either.

"That is Lucuis Malfoy," Lanna whispered, her eyes glazing over. Her mouth opened without her noticing, as she stared at the approaching wizard.

"Lucius Who?" Fett wanted to know.

"Malfoy," Lanna said without thinking. "And you should see him, when he's not that flushed by anger," she added with a little sigh.

"Can be done," Fett replied.

A blaster bolt catching Malfoy in mid-stride, brought Lanna back to her senses. "What….?" She turned to look at Fett, who casually holstered his weapon again.

"I don't think he'll look flushed like that," he simply said.

"You cannot walk around and randomly shoot wizards, especially not on the grounds of a school!" Lanna couldn't believe it. "What will the headmaster say? I was counting on his support!"

Her shouting attracted the attention of one of the passing pupils that looked unbelieving from her to the corpse and to Fett. Then he ran away as if Lord Vader himself was after him, and Lanna put her hand softly on Boba's arm when he tried to follow.

"Let him. It might not look very friendly if went charging after him." She glanced at the late Lord Malfoy. "I really wish you hadn't done that."

"Can't help it." Boba replied. "It's in the potion."

The door opened again, and a woman approached them with purposeful strides, her whole bearing emanating deep indignation. She peered at them over the rim of her glasses, before she demanded to know what happened. _Typical teacher,_ Lanna thought. _I bet everybody in the universe has had at least one teacher of the McGonagall type._

"Mr Fett here shot Lord Malfoy," Lanna tried to explain, pointing at the dead man. "He's under a strong potion we need to break, and I was actually hoping to find help here, but-" Lanna broke off sheepishly.

"The potion made him do that?"

Lanna and Fett both nodded, and seeing the disbelief on Mrs. McGonagall's face Lanna said, "It was made by a wizard who called himself 'Magic Mortimer', he also left the portkey that brought us here. You have not by chance heard of him?"

"I will ignore you attempt to divert from the problem at hand Ms -" she looked at Lanna questioningly.

"Lanna," the aforementioned supplied quickly. "Mahalia Lanna. And his name is Boba Fett," she added pointing at the bounty hunter.

"Very well, Ms Lanna and Mr Fett." Mrs McGonagall looked them up and down, her face full of indignations and suspicion. "You will have to answer for the murder, potion or no."

"Yes, I think we'd better talk to the head master," Lanna conceded.

"And the expert for potions, too. " Fett added. The stare of Mrs McGonagall didn't seem to bother him at all. Lanna suspected it simply bounced off the helmet. "After all we are here to undo a potion, so his presence would spare us a lot of double explanations."

"If this potion is really affecting the actions of you, Mr Fett, then it must have been made by a wizard more crafty in potions than I have heard about. It must have been really potent."

"Oh, believe me it's killer," Lanna sighed. Then she turned to meet the headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, who arrived just a little faster than dignity allowed. After another round of introductions it was agreed that she and Fett were to follow Dumbledore to his office while Mrs McGonagall went to fetch the potions' teacher.

In the office Lanna flopped down on the first available chair. With little interest she glanced at the moving headmasters in the pictures, some of them whispering urgently with each other and pointing at Fett, her and the general direction of the deceased Mr Malfoy a lot. Lanna closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. _If only_, she thought, _if only…_

But, of course, only didn't happen. Fett sat down next to her, crossing his ankles and, of course, folding his arms over his chest. Dumbledore was talking softly to his phoenix that was gurgling excitedly. Just when he turned to face them again, the door opened and Mrs McGonagall entered followed by - Severus Snape. Lanna could feel her inner fangirl beginning to surface, and a subtle shift in Fett's position told her that the bounty hunter could read her like an open book.

"Good thinking, Sherlock!" Lanna hissed. "Just keep your hormones under control, and try to remember that he's worth more alive than dead to you."

"I will take it into consideration," Fett answered flatly.

"Great," Lanna muttered. "Just great."

The wizards seemed not to have noticed their little exchange. After they all were seated Dumbledore spoke up.

"I understand that Mr Fett here has just shot Lucius Malfoy without any provocation in the school yard." He peered over the rim of his glasses at the bounty hunter.

"It was not his fault," Lanna spoke up immediately. "He is under the influence of a very strong love potion, there is nothing he can do about it."

Dumbledore watched them both attentively over the rim of his glasses. "I don't think so," he finally said. "The potion might have created something close to love, but the peculiarity it seems to have developed in Mr. Fett is al his own." He fixed his gaze on the bounty hunter. "You simply are fiercely possessive of what you consider yours. You might want to reconsider your attitude."

_Great_, Lanna thought. _ Let's just hope they don't charge extra for psychological help, and that Fett doesn't charge due to feeling insulted._ Fortunately, the bounty hunter seemed to ignore the statement. "So you want to put him on trail for that incident, anyway?" she asked aloud.

"We all have to bear the consequences of our actions," Dumbledore replied, still looking at Fett.

"Fine," Lanna conceded. "But could we please try to undo that potion first, before any more causalities happen?" She shot a pleading glance at the wizards.

Snape steepled his fingers, scowling at them over the tips. "If you know nothing more about that potion," he sneered, "this might take a while."

Lanna clamped her mouth shut, before a snappy remark about Snape and love potions could escape her lips. "Can't we just stuff a bezoar down his throat and be done?" she asked instead.

The eyes of all teachers turned to her with interest, only Snape rolled his eyes in exasperation. "That is for poison," he explained in the slow tones reserved for the unnaturally dumb. "The difference may mean nothing to you, or even your spell-check, but I dare guess that if you didn't care for the end Mr. Fett comes to, you would have tried using poison instead of potion long ago."

"It might work, if Mr. Fett is dying slowly off the potion," Dumbledore tried to mediate.

"Not him," Lanna murmured softly, trying hard neither to blush, nor to look at Snape. "Not him."

"We will ask other experts in the field for help, if necessary," Mrs. MacGonagall decided. "The Ministry will be interested in this case, anyway."

"No need," Lanna declined. "If Snape can't find the answer, it's not here." Again all eyes turned towards her, except for Boba's whose had never left.

"Is that so?" Dumbledore asked softly. "And how do you know this?"

"He's just the best," Lanna said flatly. "If potion masters had royalty, he'd be a prince - at least. It's in his blood."

Snape inhaled sharply and glared at Lanna, though he seemed to agree with her assessment of his abilities.

"Your trust in our Master of Potions is flattering, but I will do what _I_ think right nevertheless," Dumbledore replied. After a glance to Professor Snape he continued, "I hope you understand."

"No problem," Lanna assured him. "You do what you must do, and I'll watch Professor Snape while he tests some antidotes on Mr. Fett." Her eye-batting was almost audible.

The wizards exchanged glances until each nodded. "You can follow Professor Snape to his office," Dumbledore said, "but you will not go alone. My phoenix, Fawkes, will have an eye on you."

"They ward of evil, if I remember correctly," Lanna replied. "Might be a necessary ability." She stood up and headed to the door. "What? Everybody glued to their seats? Let's get this done, right?" Not waiting for an answer she opened the door and left. She got almost halfway down the stairs before Fett caught up with her, trailed by Fawkes who watched them out of his tiny eyes.

"Snape?" Lanna sasked, without slowing down.

"Fuming, but coming," Fett answered, catching up with her. "He does not seem to be happy about having to help us."

"So what? We're not here to make wizards happy - though in his case I'd probably make an exception - we're here to get that potion unmade." Lanna paused. "Let's hope he will pay attention to the difference between potion and poison."

Snape finally caught up with them at the foot of the stairs, and Lanna had to agree with Fett's assessment. Snape was positively seething. He glared at all of them, including the phoenix, and strode off. Lanna and Fett followed hastily, and the bird flew back and forth between them as if it had to keep them together. It fluttered over their heads until Lanna had to suppress the strong urge to whack it out of the air with a fly flap.

"I'm not intending to be fast about my help at all," Snape said suddenly. "I think it would be waste of a good antidote, if you get convicted anyway." He sneered at Fett, who seemed to consider the implications.

"So you're cooperation is only an act?" he asked politely.

Scowling Snape turned to face him. "You have just shot Lucius Malfoy, and want cooperation from _me_? You must really have come from a place far _far_ away."

Fett stood still for a moment, and Lanna was already very much afraid of the conclusions he had drawn and the action that would ensue. _Please, don't,_ she prayed and took hold of Fett's right arm. To her amazement, he simply put it around her waist.

"You know there will be consequences, if you refuse," his filtered voice said calmly.

Snape snorted. "As if anything Dumbledore or the Ministry are about would interest me."

"It was not them, I was talking about," Fett said, and before he even reached the last word, he had his left arm up, and small bolt caught the wizard in the chest. The phoenix gurgled loudly and flew off at high speed, most likely for help.

Lanna freed herself from the bounty hunter's grip and glared at him. "I think you took into consideration that he could help us?" Lanna snapped.

"He was of no use to us anymore," Fett stated

"Boba!" Lanna shouted and forgetting in her anger even to try inflicting physical harm to the bounty hunter.

"I know I shouldn't have done that," Fett said, coming to a halt, too. "It's against my principles to kill people without getting paid for it."

"Oh, shut up and run!" Lanna snapped, seeing the first wizards appearing in search for them. She took the first stairs she saw running up without thinking. Unfortunately, using the stairs was not as easy as she had hoped. Fett caught up to her, having to jump the growing distance between the stairs and the landing, as the flight of stairs began to move ponderously across the hall. They didn't stop to see where their new destination was. When they reached the landing they took another stair that led up, not caring for the direction this time.

It seemed that not even the wizards could control the moving stairways. Soon they were all over the hall, since the stairs did not only change direction but also whether they led up or down on a whim. Lanna gave up trying to guess where each new flight of stairs would put them and simply hoped it would be far away from any pursuit.

"Look!" Lanna pointed into the air. The phoenix had taken to circling them, and thus giving their position away rather well in all the chaos. "Do something!" Lanna commanded.

Fett aimed his flamethrower at the circling bird and fried it out of the air. Unbelieving, Lanna watched the phoenix burst into a flying fireball and only by chance saw a small very egg-like looking thing that followed the call of gravity.

"I thought they were reborn in fire?" she wondered aloud.

"They die and are then reborn," Fett corrected. Then looking down at the place where the egg had met the ground rather terminally he added, "Mostly."

They ran up the flight of stairs, unaccountably ending at the same wall they had started off from. With all the stairs moving around at random, the pursuers had spread almost evenly throughout the stairwell that would have made even Escher wince and get dead drunk.

"They are everywhere," Lanna commented while they grabbed a ride on the next stair. "What plan do you have for situations like this?"

"Not getting into them," Fett replied. He glanced over his shoulder. "We acquired a blind passenger," he warned her.

Lanna didn't turn, but simply tried to speed up a bit. "DO something, will you?" She told Fett as she went past him.

"You are the whiz kid here," Fett retorted. "Magic was your idea, so do something yourself."

"Whatever you say," Lanna snapped back. She turned, grabbed the antenna at Boba's rocket pack, and yanked it off. Then she turned and pointed it at their closest pursuer, who happened to be Filch, cat inclusive.

"Retro!" Lanna shouted, not knowing any useful spells and doubting they'd work anyway, but right now willing to try everything.

But Filch didn't slow down the least, not mentioning flying backwards down the stairs. Instead, the thin filthy hair suddenly turned into the largest afro-curl imitation Lanna had ever seen. At the same time, the shabby clothing was substituted by a glaringly silver and gold glitter blazer, a shirt that showed definitely too much curly chest hair and jeans with bell bottoms the size of a Hutt. Nothing of that was very helpful, except of the plateau boots that suddenly rose 30 centimetres under Filch's feet and made him stumble and fall with the very next step.

Unbelieving, Lanna stared at the result of her spell. "Run!" she ordered then, grabbing Fett's arm and hasting on.

"Impressive, most impressive," Fett commented. "Even the cat had afro-curls and glitter all over it."

"Oh, shut up! Let's find somewhere to hide, or at least a window to climb out off."

They jumped from the moving stair to a random landing somewhere far up. Lanna didn't even try to imagine what would have happened if she had calculated the jump wrong.

"There are no doors here," Fett called to her half way down the corridor.

"There must be _some_! " Lanna replied desperately out of breath. "There just have too, we _need_ one!" She peered intently at the walls, as if she could make a room appear with sheer willpower. But there was only walls and tapestries. Fleetingly Lanna wondered who'd want pictures of goblins in tutus, except in a torture chamber for aficionados of art, maybe.

Suddenly, there was a door.

"In here!" she shouted yanking it open. Fett turned on his heels, was past her in a moment, and she slammed the door shut. Then she looked around for anything to bar it with. But the room looked like nothing one would expect in a castle. It seemed to be small and have windows in two walls, which was just impossible. Additionally, it seemed to be a very rudimentary kitchen.

"Where are we?", Lanna wondered aloud.

"Well, Lanna, I don't think we're in Hogwarts anymore," Fett replied.

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One after another the wizards arrived in front of the Room of Requirement. The door was wide open, but the room itself was empty. Nothing adorned the stone walls and floor, the only window let only dim light through its smudgy glass.


	3. Chapter 3

** Chapter 3 **

Amazed, Lanna stared at the wooden walls. "Wow," she finally managed. "I did not expect this at all."

But Boba had already ventured through the door behind her again, blaster drawn and apparently not ending up in a mob of angry wizards. So Lanna decided to have a look around and find some food if possible. _After all this IS s a kitchen,_ she thought.

"Lanna?" Fett called from the other room.

"What is it?" she replied, poking her head through the door.

"I think I have just frightened a little girl into suicide," Boba said, pointing to a hole in the floor.

"No joking," Lanna said flatly. There was an open trapdoor in the middle of the second room that seemed to store mostly beds. Carefully Lanna approached it and looked down. Under them raged a tornado, debris swirled around wildly in it's hose.

"Oops," Lanna commented, taking a tentative step backwards. "We better close that before one of us stumbles and takes a fall."

"Have you found any controls?" Fett wanted to know, closing the trap door.

"Controls? This is a hut, Boba, it does not _have_ controls because it's not supposed to fly." Lanna glanced around. "Let's see if we can find something magical - or at least something to eat." Lanna return to the kitchen, rummaging the cupboards.

After searching through the small sleeping room, Fett joined her. "Any success?" he wanted to know.

"Bread that was young when we were and butter that smells as if it came out of the wrong hole of a cow," Lanna said bitterly. "We should have taken that roast phoenix while we could."

While Lanna kept searching in the hope that something would turn up, if only she looked long enough, Fett stood at the window and looked out.

"I think you should hold on to something," he told Lanna. "We're about to crash-land."

After venturing a short glance out, Lanna made herself comfortable in Boba Fett's protective embrace. "You know," she said, muffled by a mouthful of Mandalorian handiwork, "I get the feeling, I could use some such armour myself."

The crash shook the hut badly, and Lanna was glad for the support Fett gave her. Even though, her knees hurt from the impact and she stumbled when Boba released her.

"Ouch. Flying huts should be forbidden," Lanna mumbled as she hobbled to the door. "The impact when they land is just… What?"

With a swift movement, Fett had stepped between her and the door, holding her back with one arm. "I will go out and check the situation. And you will stay inside until I'm convinced it is save," he ordered. "my sensors show a lot of alien life forms approaching."

"I you insist," Lanna shrugged. She knew resistance was futile if Boba was in a protective mood. "Let's hope they have some food with them," she murmured as Fett opened the door with his blaster raised. He slid out and quickly closed the door behind him. Lanna decided to sit down, rubbing her hurting knees.

When Fett returned he seemed puzzled. "I think it is safe, but the behaviour of the natives is - strange. They look like shaved Ewoks," Boba explained. "Dressed strange and wearing positively silly hats."

Lanna raised a brow. "Shaved Ewoks?"

"With silly hats." Fett added flatly. "There is also a lady that looks as if she professionally impersonates wedding cakes," he added after a pause.

"Great, I bet she's a good fairy godmother or such," Lanna said. "I'll talk to her."

When Lanna opened the door, the first thing she noticed was an incredibly blue sky. It almost looked like it had been stolen from a child's picture. A small village was visible and the small inhabitants stood at a respectful distance from the house, eyeing her curiously. Among the dwarf-like people stood a woman in an impossibly broad evening gown. She wore a crown and a wand declaring her to be either a fairy godmother or a witch hoping to pass for one. Fett's comparison to a wedding cake was, unfortunately, pretty accurate.

"Are you a good witch, or a bad witch," the Wedding Peach-wannabe asked.

"Who, me?" Lanna wanted to know. "Judging from my abilities, probably a bad one."

"Is he the witch, then?" the woman asked, looking at Fett. Her tone was confused but hopeful.

"Fett?" Lanna almost burst out laughing.

"I am certainly not," Fett assured.

"Well, I'm a little muddled," the other witch said. "The Munchkins called me because a new witch has just dropped a house on the Wicked Witch of the East. And there's the house, and here you are, and that's all that's left of the Wicked Witch of the East." She pointed to the feet sticking out under the house.

"Very convenient," Lanna nodded.

The overdressed fairy girl twitched her head startled, as if somebody had just interrupted her script. "Anyway," she said, drawing herself up. "What the Munchkins want to know is, are you a good witch, or a bad witch?"

Lanna rolled her eyes. "A I said before, I'm not a witch at all. Neither is my companion. But we're looking for one."

"I am Glinda the Witch of the North," the woman finally introduced herself. "Why are you looking for a witch?"

Before Lanna could answer, a dwarf with flowers sneaked up on them and thrust the bouquet at Lanna.

"The Munchkins are happy because you have freed them from the Wicked Witch of the East." Glinda explained.

Looking at the flowers Lanna nodded. "Munchkins, alright. Just tell them to cut that singing, it makes my friend trigger-happy," she added when the witch and the dwarves suddenly burst into song.

On cue, Fett raised his blaster, pointing it in the general direction of the Munchkins. Silence happened very fast.

"Good. Now I'll just be getting those ruby slippers and then we can talk. Talk, you hear me. And something to eat would be nice." Lanna left the witch and Munchkins standing with their mouths open and turned back to the house. But she was not the first at the dead witch. Another witch, this one adhering to the witch code of ugliness, stood gazing at the feet protruding from the house.

"Good day to you," Lanna said while she bent down and took the slippers. "I take you're her sister, the Wicked Witch of the West." In her mind she wondered if a maniac with a soft spot for alliteration had created the names for Oz.

"Who killed my sister? Who killed the Witch of the East? Was it you? Answer me!" the old witch demanded.

Out of the corner of her eye, Lanna could see Fett taking up backup position. "I guess, I did," she replied. "Dropped on her with that house."

"And you took her slippers," the witch said, levelling an accusing finger at Lanna. "The ruby slippers! Give them back to me, or I'll ---"

"It's too late!" Glinda interjected, pointing at Lanna's feet. "There they are, and there they'll stay!"

Lanna had felt the slippers moving like liquid down her hands, and as she looked down, they had indeed attached themselves to her feet. Which looked a little stupid over her boots. "Oh."

"Give me back my slippers! I'm the only one that knows how to use them. They're of no use to you! Give them back to me!" The Wicked Witch screamed at Lanna, completely ignoring the blaster Fett pointed at her.

"Keep tight inside of them" Glinda advised Lanna conspirationally. "Their magic must be very powerful, or she wouldn't want them so badly!"

Tempted to roll her eyes again, Lanna looked to Fett, who shrugged microscopically at the arguing women. This exchange of meaningful glances did not escape the Wicked Witch. She turned her attention back to Lanna, levelling her finger at her again.

"I'll get you, my pretty, and your little-" she seemed to be searching for the right word, "pet, too!" Then she vanished in a cloud of fire and smoke. _Which was probably safer for her,_ Lanna considered. _Calling Fett a 'little pet' was not a good move if you intended to keep on living._

"Say, are you any good with love potions?" Lanna asked Glinda who was getting the Munchkins up from the ground. Scared by the explosion most had flung themselves on their bellies.

"Heavens, _no_!" Glinda exclaimed. "No good witch would ever tamper with love. It is sacred!"

Lanna shot a glance at Fett, that simply rebounded from his helmet. "OK, then I think, we need a way out of Oz."

"The only person who might know would be the great and wonderful Wizard of Oz himself!" Glinda told her. "He lives in the Emerald City, and that's a long journey from here. Did you bring your broomstick with you?"

Lanna threw a speculating look at Fett and his rocket pack. "No, I'm afraid I didn't," she finally said with a sigh. "So point us to the Yellow Brick Road and we're gone. Preferably with something to eat, if anybody is still grateful for us killing the witch."

To her astonishment nobody objected. Food appeared in neat parcels and most Munchinks didn't even follow as far as the road. Glinda made of with all due hast as soon as they were out of the sight of the Munchkin village and finally Lanna was alone with Fett again. She was sorely tempted to sigh deeply and lean meaningfully against anything.

"Is your compass working here?" she asked instead.

The bounty hunter nodded.

"So let me see," Lanna mused and began to count on her fingers. "We have one witch we dropped on, one wizard, who's a fake, a good witch that doesn't do love potions, another one that never appears, and one evil witch to choose from."

Without a word, Fett turned to the right an began to cut straight across the fields. Lanna followed, grinning. Two minds thinking alike, though they were following completely different goals.

In the afternoon they came to a forest. Lanna had hoped to get a lunch break much earlier, but Fett marched on without slowing down. Since it was a wood for show, high trees with little else growing under them, Lanna was surprised, when Fett managed to find the only spot with underbrush and walk straight into it. His reasoning became clear, when he stopped in a small clearing, sat down on a log and took of his helmet.

"Time for lunch -- finally." Reproach rang in Lanna's voice. She sat down next to the bounty hunter and stretched out her legs. "You know, since I'm supposed to be the witch, I think I should get us a broomstick. This is too much walking for my taste." She wriggled her toes in her boots. The red slippers still clung snugly to them and looked ridiculous.

"We have been walking only half a day," Fett replied.

Lanna sighed. "I know. I just wished, that-" she broke off. Boba cocked his head in a question but Lanna shook her head. "I just thought that wishing for things in a fairy tale might not be a wise move."

Fett nodded and they finished their meal in silence.

Behind the wood, they found a street again which led to the west. They followed it and just when things were about to become very boring, a flurry of yellow jumped through the underbrush right at them. It opened its maw and roared - and dropped to the ground when a well-aimed shot from Fett hit it.

"A lion," Lanna commented, prodding the dead animal with a foot. "Stupid thing to jump at us like that." Shaking her head she stepped over the carcass.

"Are those dangerous?" Fett wanted to know. "And many?"

Lanna shook her head. "According to the story there is only one here, and that one was more stupid than dangerous. There's a tinman and a scarecrow around, but I'm not sure they will bother us. Besides, I think they are harmless, too."

"Good." He caught up to Lanna, when suddenly a swarm of flying monkey appeared out of nowhere. The bounty hunter raised his blaster again, but Lanna laid a hand on the barrel. "Don't, they come from the Wicked Witch, and I hope they will hasten our journey."

"Hey, you!" She caught the wrist of an animal that was tugging at her hair. "Where is the witch? Tell her to come here, pronto, if possible."

The money, screamed and squirmed in her grip. When she released him, he fluttered back to the flock but kept wisely out of reach. A few well-placed punches granted Fett free space as well. One money was still rolling over the ground cupping his nose with both hands. The pandemonium increased, and just when Lanna considered to shoot some monkeys anyway, the Wicked Witch of the West made her grand entrance with thunder and lightning.

And smoke, lots of smoke. Lanna coughed. Looking through the thinning dust she could see the witch standing a few steps down the way, She had her arms crossed in front of her chest and did a very good glare. of course, it would have been more impressive, if she had not been squinting so badly.

"So you think, you can command me around," she grated out. The monkeys formed a kind of living tornado behind her.

"I just thought it's be faster this way. I got the feeling you were rather urgent about the shoes." Lanna lifted a foot and pointed it at the witch.

With a harsh gesture the witch silenced the cloud of monkeys. "What do you suggest?"

"We need some help, and in return you will get the slippers. Does that sound fair enough?"

"That depends on the kind of help," the witch replied. "What do you want?"

"Can you undo a strong love potion?" Lanna glanced at Fett. "We're kind of stuck."

Instead of an answer the witch burst into almost cackling laughter, and her monkeys joined squealing and screaming. Finally she got her spirits under control again. "You are funny, girl. But because your green clad thug is really ugly, and it is really nasty of him to bind you like that, and because I really want those slippers -- I'll give it a try."

Suddenly, the monkeys surged forward and lifted them off the ground. In a rush of air and beating of wings, they were jostled through the air for a short while before the monkeys set them down again.

While Lanna looked around, the monkeys left through one of three huge windows. They took up almost the complete wall, but the glass was grimy and only grey light filtered through. There were no windows in the other walls, but chandeliers stood and hung scattered in the room, adding to the dim light. Lanna felt Fett at her right shoulder, taking in the new surroundings.

The witch stood in a corner, studying their reactions. "Not impressed, huh?"

Lanna shook her head. "That will change if you can break the spell."

With a grunt, the witch turned to a shelf full of strange and twisted bottles. She muttered to herself as she went through them, almost picking one, weighing another in her hand. Finally she opted for a small flask with glaringly red content.

"This should do," she said handing the bottle to Fett.

The bounty hunter took of his helmet and uncorked the bottle. The smell wafting up hit Lanna like a hammer, and she was certain she would never have managed to drink it. But Fett didn't even flinch. He downed the red stuff, which proved to be more jelly than liquid, in a single go and didn't even shudder.

Nothing happened -- no glowing light, not winds, thunder, smoke, not even spastic movements. The two women eyed Boba suspiciously.

"It's the strongest you will get here," the witch said. Lanna was not sure whom she tried to convince, herself or her guest. "My predecessor made it, took her ages, too. I saw the receipt. Actually, he should be running with disgust now."

Boba made no move at all. He looked back at the two women, finally raising a brow. Then he put his helmet back on.

"Did it work?" the witch asked him.

"Oh, I know an easy way to test that," Lanna said and turned to the bounty hunter. "Boba, do you want to marry me?"

"Can you act as Reverend?" the bounty hunter asked the witch.

"Hell, no!" Lanna shouted. "This did certainly not work." She glanced at Fett who was patting his pockets searching for ring-equivalents. "Hey, helmet-head, stop it. We're not going to get married." She rolled her eyes.

Boba managed to cock his helmet in a way that managed to betray hurt, but stopped the search.

The Witch cackled amused. "Sorry, that was the best. I think you must live with Mr. Tinhead."

"OK, there is another thing then," Lanna conceded. "If we can't find help here, we need to go into another magic tale."

"And I will get the other shoe," the witch supplied.

"That's what I planned, yes," Lanna agreed.

"Getting out is easy. You just click your heels together and say there is no place like home."

"But we don't want to go home. We still need a witch or a wizard to break the spell." Lanna shook her head. "Home is not an option yet."

"You don't use your head much, do you?" the witch asked. "Try replacing home with a destination of your choice. I'm sure the spell is not educated enough to realize it's being cheated." The thought seemed to amuse her greatly.

Lanna thought for a moment. "I'll do it. Take my hand Boba." the bounty hunter complied, while Lanna slipped the other shoe off her foot and tossed it to the witch. "Have fun with those."

She closed her eyes and clicked her heels together three times. "There is no place like fairyland, there is no place like fairyland, there is no place like fairyland."

Nothing seemed to happen, but suddenly she felt Fett's grip on her hand tighten. She opened her eyes and looked around. "At least, it's not Oz anymore," she said looking around.

They were standing in a forest, a nearby sign warning them of Ogres.


End file.
